(Day 13) 26th March - Overwhelming Experience at Work

I have been in my case manager (CM) role since June 2020. Today, I had a new experience which was extremely overwhelming leaving me feeling emotional. It was the end of the day and one of my claimants had made contact meaning I needed to call him. This could have been left as deadline was the end of my next shift or could of been dealt with by a colleague. However, looking back my empathy made me ring the claimant. I didn't want to finish the day knowing someone needed to be called and I suppose, lack of trust meant I didn't want a colleague to deal with it differently. 

I called the claimant, an 6o year old man who was querying about closing his claim as he had not received any entitlement due to his earnings and pension. The first 3 mins of the call were spent of the claimant, who will be called John Doe for example, distressed. John had suffered bad health including strokes and head injuries for a while and has only been working for 15hrs a week due to his health condition. I instant felt uneasy as I empathised with John, I alerted one manager (Liam) via Microsoft Teams I felt stressed on the call. John proceeded to talk about his negative experience not seeing the benefit of being on UC instead of a separate benefit called ESA (Employment and Support Allowance). We do not do ESA, it is a completely separate benefit, therefore unknowledgeable on ESA, I felt less capable. John was expected to become redundant on Wednesday (this was a Friday), therefore needed the income. After about 5 mins of John talking, I said 'okay, let me see what I can do and your options' in which he responded 'Get me a job'. However, I was confused as John gave me the impression he did not want to work or could work. This lead me into a more confused state. Talking through what UC can do for John, I mentioned the WCA (Work Capability Assessment) which deems if someone is fit to work, if not they can receive extra premium from UC. However, before allowing me to explain John began talking over me saying 'This is what YOU people want me to do, YOU just want me to find a job and do everything online' and 'who is going to employ me? I'm 60 with bad health and there is young fit 20 year olds looking for work'. Before he continue to spiral I interrupted to calm him down and explain what WCA was. Reassuring him that we know he doesn't want to be online as we had him registered as a phone claim. John then began asking me about ESA, asking me to compare. 

As I had already alerted the new manager (Rob), the other who was free was aware, listening and watching alongside another new manager and an employee. Aware of this, I felt uncomfortable as I felt like I was not in control of the situation or being able to advise. As I am deaf in one ear, when I am on the phone I can only hear the phone call. I removed my headset quickly to ask 'what is ESA?' and Rob replied, with what to say so I put my headset back on to relay to John. However, unaware of my hearing Rob continued to talk to me whilst John was talking to me on the phone. This made me feel even more incapable and stressed, something I hate as I like being in control and knowledgable. 

I directed John to ESA, giving him the phone number assuring him we wouldn't close his claim until he had spoken to ESA. The call felt like it was closing as I added the notes to his account. However, John began ranting about UC, stating how rubbish it was and how it was better 'before'. Trying to remain calm and empathetic, I said 'I am sorry you feel like this, I know they are always trying to better the service'. John said patronisingly 'Well love, in the big wide world, no one likes UC',  distressed I replied 'I don't control the service, I cannot control the policies'. John then proceeded to tell me a story at how he saw a prostitute in Birmingham who apparently said she was there because of UC. Taken back, I replied 'okay' in which John replied 'and you see, this is what UC does, its putting women on the street, people going hungry -'. Here, I terminated the call, began to cry and walked off. I had never felt so distressed and overwhelmed at work. There were so many factors involved in the situation which led to this outcome. Immediately I was joined by my colleague, shortly followed by Rob and Liam all checking I was okay. This was comforting and allowed me to offload. Liam took me for a private chat, who reassured me I did what I could and handled it professionally throughout. I am not obligated to sit and allow a claimant distress me when I am trying to help. 

This was a learning experience for me, after a moment to go home and talk to my Mom (who also works at the office in a managerial role, but a separate department). My mom knows me extremely well, once I explained the situation she instantly brought me back to why I was so overwhelmed. She said the main factors were that I couldn't hear my manager with information whilst I had a stressed claimant on the phone and I wasn't equipped with the right knowledge for the call. She too knows I like to be knowledgable. The factors involving the situation were:

- I empathised with John, I wanted to help him and turn his situation around

- I didn't have the knowledge for his full query

- I knew I was being watched and listened to the those around

- I couldn't hear Rob with information as he was unaware of my hearing

- The claimant was patronising and making unnecessary comments which were out of my control. However, they were like I was working for the big evil.

Also, I may have been more sensitive and emotional to the situation as I am currently experience PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome). I have always struggled with extreme emotional PMS, which has lead me to doctors appointments and learning to cope better. I am normally quite well composed, especially at work, and all these factors lead to this outcome. However, although an element of emotional was uncontrollable for me due to PMS, it was extremely useful to know why, what and how the situation lead me to be overwhelmed. Reflecting with my colleague, manager, mom and self really has helped me learn for this experience. 

I am intrigued to learn about women in leadership and work whilst experiencing PMS. This is an extreme emotional impact which influences my EQ. Overwhelmed, emotional, distressed and sensitive lead me to cry and terminate the cool. However, alongside if I had more knowledge, if I wasn't uber sensitive I felt like I would have handled it differently. Reminding the claimant I'm here to help, stating I won't listen to the comments and control the nature of the call better. This experience has reminded how important it is to remain emotional aware and how my PMS will and can impact my EQ at work.